Understanding and Helping a Hoarder
Hoarding is a disorder in which a person keeps piles of things, whether valuable or not, to the extent that living space may not be of use anymore. However, hoarding is more than just keeping piles of your favorite magazines or storing tons of dresses inside your closet. A hoarder keeps everything and treats his "collections" as his most prized possession.
If you are living with a loved one who has a hoarding disorder, it's important to know that the issue is only a symptom of a deeper psychological problem. The person may have attention problems that manifest in an inability to finish a task or he might have difficulty with perfectionism as well as procrastination. Whether you like it or not, these things can't be overcome easily no matter how annoying or bothersome they may be
Living with a hoarder may sometimes make you feel like your time and your space aren't being respected, particularly if you're trying your best to make the home €livable€. When the hoarding gets worse, resentment can develop and the problem can create friction among people living within the same household
Even when you're not living with the hoarder, you can still be helpful when the problem becomes persistent. But you must understand that your role as outsider is kind of different. For a person who has the disorder, it can be very helpful to have the objectivity of someone you trust when you're cleaning or organizing things inside the home.
Having a friend around while you're doing a task like cleaning out your closet also provides an emotional benefit. This is helpful because that person is not emotionally involved with your possessions and he can help you make better choices on what to keep and what to discard.
Setting aside judgment is the first step in helping a hoarder, and for many this may not be so easy to do. Hoarding is a visible problem that affects each member of the family personally. We all have things we fear of being judged upon.
The second important thing to do is to educate yourself about the disorder. It will go a long way in helping you understand the condition even better. Also bear in mind that being a hoarder is not a choice.
The third important thing is to expect that helping a hoarder overcome her problem will likely be frustrating not only to you but also to the hoarder at some point. No matter how you want to solve the problem, it is important that the hoarder also learns to accept that it is possible for him to work through it.
If you are living with a loved one who has a hoarding disorder, it's important to know that the issue is only a symptom of a deeper psychological problem. The person may have attention problems that manifest in an inability to finish a task or he might have difficulty with perfectionism as well as procrastination. Whether you like it or not, these things can't be overcome easily no matter how annoying or bothersome they may be
Living with a hoarder may sometimes make you feel like your time and your space aren't being respected, particularly if you're trying your best to make the home €livable€. When the hoarding gets worse, resentment can develop and the problem can create friction among people living within the same household
Even when you're not living with the hoarder, you can still be helpful when the problem becomes persistent. But you must understand that your role as outsider is kind of different. For a person who has the disorder, it can be very helpful to have the objectivity of someone you trust when you're cleaning or organizing things inside the home.
Having a friend around while you're doing a task like cleaning out your closet also provides an emotional benefit. This is helpful because that person is not emotionally involved with your possessions and he can help you make better choices on what to keep and what to discard.
Setting aside judgment is the first step in helping a hoarder, and for many this may not be so easy to do. Hoarding is a visible problem that affects each member of the family personally. We all have things we fear of being judged upon.
The second important thing to do is to educate yourself about the disorder. It will go a long way in helping you understand the condition even better. Also bear in mind that being a hoarder is not a choice.
The third important thing is to expect that helping a hoarder overcome her problem will likely be frustrating not only to you but also to the hoarder at some point. No matter how you want to solve the problem, it is important that the hoarder also learns to accept that it is possible for him to work through it.
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