How to Comfort Someone After a Death

• 1). Tell the person with heartfelt sincerity that you are sorry for their loss. Do not offer advice, or give the person reassurance that everything will be alright. It may make the person feel that you are telling them that they should not be so upset, or that they should get over their grief quickly.
  
  
• 2). Listen to the grieving person as they speak about their loss. Give them your undivided attention by really being present; make eye contact, lean toward them and hold them if they indicate that they need a hug. Let them tell their story as often as they need to tell it. Assure them that it is okay to be sad, angry or to cry as much as they need to.
  
  
• 3). Offer to help the grieving person with tasks like child care, housekeeping, shopping or cooking meals. If they decline your offer, ask again later. Stop by with a prepared meal, including salad, a main dish and desert. Bring plastic utensils and paper plates so the person will not have to wash any dishes.
  
  
• 4). Respect the privacy of the person you are trying to help. If they do not want to talk about their loss, do not push the subject. Tell them that you understand that they want to grieve quietly, but that you are available if they need you. Pay attention to the person's behavior and be aware of comments regarding deep depression or suggestions that they may be considering suicide; they may need the help of a professional.
  
  
• 5). Support the person who is mourning by continuing to include them in your life. Do not avoid them because you do not know what to say. A grieving person may begin to feel that they are a burden to others because they are not "getting over it" soon enough, and may feel like they are being outcast when they need your support the most.
  
  
• 6). Share your own story of loss, if you have experienced it. Just knowing that someone else has felt the way they now feel, and has survived the devastation of losing a loved one, may give them hope that they will heal one day, as well. To see that peace may come, despite the pain they are feeling right now, may be the best gift you can give them during this time.