This is a question that I have asked myself on many different occasions.
Sometimes I would ask myself, "God, "Why didn't it work out with him?", or "What's wrong with me?! Why am I still single?!" I would ask these kind of questions in anger, hurt, and disappointment.
I have several friends from college and high school that are married with children and although I am extremely happy for them, I used to wonder when it would be my turn.
I never stopped and thought about was I really ready to be married.
Growing up young girls are groomed practically from birth to be a wife and mother.
Young girls are given baby dolls as toys grooming them to take care of children from the age of 2.
They are given Barbie, Ken, and Barbie's dream house grooming them to be a wife.
All this programs young girls that grow into young women into believing that it is expected of us to want nothing more than to be a wife and mother.
Add to this women being inundated with talks of biological clocks and when our likely cut-off is to having children.
This goes on so much that when one sees a woman in her 30′s that is not married, questions get tossed as to why they are not married yet.
Talk and thoughts like this is more than likely operating out of the flesh.
I had these thoughts beginning in my mid 20′s up until about a week ago.
I then reflected back on a counseling session with my Pastor and Elder.
I can fully and unashamed admit now that I was in no way ready to become anyone's wife let alone mother.
I was still dealing with my bonds of condemnation and shame which led me to having a spirit of mistrust all of which is toxic for any type of relationship.
There was no way for me to fully be a loving and caring mate to anyone if I did not love myself fully.
How could I expect myself to be a true helpmate to my spouse in the shape I was in? Proverbs 31 describes what every woman who is a wife, or wants to become a wife should strive to be, and what every man who is looking for a wife should look for.
Proverbs 31:10-12 states: A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
Another quote that also describes a woman of God to be is, "A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.
" - Maya Angelou After meditating on this and opening myself up and looking inward honestly at myself, I had to admit that I simply was not ready for marriage, or a relationship.
After this revelation, I simply have to praise God that he did not allow me to Get married and have children yet.
I was seeking a spouse out of the flesh and not through the will of God! I have now taken this revelation and I am playing by the Kingdom Rules, as Pastor L.
stated today.
Kingdom People live by Kingdom Rules.
Pastor stated that we should "Seek God first, learn how to live right and that you will receive your blessing.
" John 14:13 and Matthew 18:19 states that we can ask anything of the Father and he will give it to us.
Disclaimer to that though as Pastor stated: When we ask of these things, they have to line up with the Word.
If what you ask for does not line up with his Word, what do you expect when you don't receive it? The Bible tells us that the Lord does not want us bound by fear and condemnation.
So, if I was bound by these things how on earth did I expect the Lord to send me a spouse? I just would've added misery to someone elses life.
Knowing all of this now, I am walking, praying, and asking the Lord to help me to continue to cast everything that is not of him out of my life daily.
I also am asking him to crucify my flesh daily and when the Lord deems me ready he will send me my Man of God.
Praise God!